CliqueLight: a parody
by Babaii
Summary: A parody of The Clique, Twilight, Harry Potter, and everything. Please review
1. CliqueLight: a parody

**Clique Light by Autusa And Arielle!**

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About three things I was absolutely positive:

First, my outfit was at least an 8.5. Puh-lease, like ah-bviously.

Second, Edwardington was wearing SHORTS during WINTER? Ehmahgawd!

Third, I was unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, ecologically, disreputably, phenomenologically, cosmologically, and fashionably certain that he was C-Minus (w/out a crush) and that he would my new HART bf.


	2. 1 FIRST SIGHT

1. FIRST SIGHT

Isaac drove me to the airport with the PC. If I was going to leave Westchester, I'd need the Pretty Committee's, Blaire Tygers, Davlyn Merill, Talicia Drivera, and Jizzlen Kregony, support. I was wearing my NY charm on my Tiffany charm bracelet as a way of saying goodbye to New York and my mom and step dad. Gawd, I Luhv, with a capital 'L', OCD. I must admit that OCD was the pur-fect throne, and I'm allowed to admit that 'cuz I'm Alpha of OCD, er, I was, that is. I haven't seen my real dad, Charliebrown, since I was fifteen, which makes a lot of sense since I turned fourteen just a few weeks ago. I turned to to tinted purple window of the Range Rover and sighed.

"Gawd, I am so hawt, like who wouldn't worship me in Spoons?"

Davlyn looked up from the Teen Vogue she was holding upside and burped in confusion or maybe it was utter love of my beautiful hair and toned skin. Jizzlen took the mag and flipped it right side up. Davlyn then had a celebratory burp.

"Massiebella, isn't 'worship' going a little too far?" Blaire interrupted so rudely.

"Buh-laire. Did I say you could answer that? You just don't get it. Only a GLU would. Who said you could be here anyways?" I said regaining my dignity after Buh-laire tried to steal the limelight.

My limelight!... I must have said that out loud because Talicia gasped, crossing her perfectly spray painted arm over her double D-cups.

"Uhh, you did. You're so stupid. Bitch." Blaire rudely interrupted ah-gain!

I pretended it was opposite day and smiled to myself at what Buh-laire had told me: Huh, I did not. I'm not really smart. Male cat.  
After staring out of my window, for what seems to be hours, we finally pull up to Charliebrown's house. I could not believe my eyes and what I saw around me. It is more than disturbing than Buh-laire's nasty habit of eating more than 500 calories a day. The house was older than me (like about 12 years old) and it ONLY had 6 rooms. If anyone was smart, they would know that 6 rooms is nawt enough for a sexy, beautiful, ah-mazing, gorgeous, admirable, and appealing teen. Times like this make me wish I never would have brought the PC with me. Now they know the poor side of me, and that makes me closer to becoming an LBR like Blaire.  
"Hello girlies!," Charliebrown screamed as we entered the house.  
Note to self: make sure all of the PC stays away from Charliebrown. He is such an LBR. I don't believe we are even related.  
Studying the faces of my friends, I could tell that Talicia's face had a huge smirk cause she knew that she could become the next alpha (or fannish alpha) because of my new life. Davlyn didn't even care that she was at MY house and kept on checking facebook on her iPhone.

Ehmagawd what a loser.

"What?" said Blaire

Oops I can't believe I said that out loud. Well it is self declared opposite day.  
Blaire had a look of amazement on her face because I'm pretty sure she used to live in a box before moving to my ah-mazing guest house, and this was like Disneyland for her. Jizzlen just looked happy to be with me as usual.

Charliebrown started a LBR approved tour of the ugly dump I would have to call my house for a while.  
The first room we saw only had 1 TV in it, and it wasn't even a flat screen. Charliebrown told me that this room was called some silly made up word 'garage' and I acted like he wasn't a dumb-ass LBR like he really was. I can't believe my mom married a guy like that. He wasn't even a CLAM.

Maybe that's why my parents divorced. Nay, I'm absolutely paw-sitive that Charliebrown turned gay. But i think my mom just got tired of him moping around stupidly. I mean when your named after an LBR from a comic strip how can you stop from becoming depressed and stupid. Did I forget to mention that my room is freaking as small as my walk-in-closet back in Westchester! Uhhm, no way was this happening!

"'Scusa me, a beep-ada-boopi!" I yelled in horror as my Italianess took over like it did once at the mall when an EW bought the last of the Marc Jakkobs heels in size 7.

"Wassup, girl? You like it? I was so dumb I had to ask for help from a nice saleslady girl at Marshall's. She said that her daughter just adores Dora the explorer and so I thought you might too so i gotcha the Dora bedspread!" My dad HAD to be joking!

"Um, was her daughter FOUR?" I said slipping back into my normal speech.

"I'm glad you like it Bella!" Charliebrown said in an Irish accent.

"It's Massiebella! and your nawt Irish...ugh" I countered as my father slipped away into the darkness of the hall just outside my bedroom. If there was one good thing about Charliebrown, It was that he doesn't hover. JUST KIDDING, I heard that once in a movie called Twilight.  
I can't believe that the PC is actually seeing this. Ew. What even is Marshall's? Ew. Not a department store so I don't even like know it.  
Blaire interrupted the humiliation and asked, "Charliebrown, can I get sheets like that too? I really want something that cute also."  
I can not believe it. Buh-laire was actually flirting with my dad. My old, ugly nawt CLAM, nawt HART, fat, undesirable, so not hawt dad. He reminded me of an older version of T.R. Knight aged times 1,000,000, with brown eyes, and an excessive weight gain. He had the same weird looking body as him. Turning around to see if my true as can be friends were with me, I realized I was just in a room with stalkerish Buh-laire. Thank gawd no one else had to see my closet sized, LBR room. I'm so buying myself a new house so the PC can live in it together. It will actually be ah-mazing. Ever since we have been here, Charliebrown has been acting like an EW. He tries to wear cheap rip-offs of Ed Hardy and Hollister (more like EWllister) This can so nawt be my life for the next few years. I am sooo moving home. ASAP I tried to calm myself by calling my adorable parrot, Green. And then it struck me. Like a whip. But it was a bowl of oranges. "ow Buhlaire!" Anyways, I realized I forgot Green! Ehmagawd, I needed privacy like right now! Right then and there I faked a phone call, as any alpha would do if they needed time to think, using a banana near by. Once I was done singing on my 'phone', I realized that Buh-laire was gone... In her place stood a bowl of oranges...and then I did the splits and noticed that the bowl or oranges, too, had vanished. Odd. After putting a large amount of make-up on (never go to bed w/out makeup, its worse than being a lip virgin!), mostly glossip girl's new 'Poo-berry Swirl', I stared myself down in the full-length mirror next to my puny three by three inch closet. Staring back was a C-minus alpha with a perfect face. JUST KIDDING, that would be freaky! Staring back was ME! I went down stairs to make my friends leave at once before they, too, vanish into thin air.

Just as my plan to kick out all my friends before they could witness anything else that could be worth Gossip Points, Jizzlen ruined EVERYTHING.  
"But Massiebella, we are supposed to stay at your place," complained Jizzlen "O ya," I said.  
I needed a plan and I needed one quick. I had my two trusty sidekicks with me at the moment: my MasterCard and my American Express.  
"Jizzelen are you a makeup artist?"  
"Um no?"  
"Then why are you all up in my face?"  
As soon as the truth was being told, it sent Jizzlen into a crying rage that caused her to run away from me. Truth is I don't care.  
"That wasn't even funny MassieBella," Talicia moaned.  
"Well you guys do nawt wanna come with me and spend the night at the...err.." Think Massiebella. Think. Hotels around this LBR filled city? Ah huh! "At the Marriott with me at the penthouse?"  
"We do Massibella! We do!" Blaire screamed as usual.  
"OK. I'm telling Charliebrown. Meet me at the front door in 2"  
So that's where Buhlaire had gone! I had then realized she had transported. I still cannAWT buh-leeve there is no elevator in sight! Must I be forced to WALK up stairs?But I did anyways because I had to or else my popularity would be in jeopardy!  
"Charliebrown" I said, once I had reached him upstairs. "I'm going out to the Marriott, where's the driver...you do have one don't you?"

"Sweetheart, you have school tomorrow! And yes, I do have a driver..that's moi!" I groaned as I heard these words coming out of this stupid father of mine.,"its time to say goodnight."  
Each thing my father had said vibrated in my delicate skull. JUST KIDDING, skulls don't vibrate!  
"Charliebrown are you poor?" I was in the mood for a comeback.  
"Why yes, honey, I am. Why?" he said.  
"Because you're not making any cents!" I screamed. And then tucking in the PC under the rug, just like Friday night sleepovers!, I plopped into bed crying like a stupid baby.  
"Wait? You signed me up for school?"  
"Yes sweetie. You and all your friends." Charliebrown gave a long-lasting look of love towards Blaire.  
"That's IT! I'm out and we are gone. Call my mom to send my driver Isaac up here with us to live in this crap-hole you call 'home.''  
"Ok sugarplum." Charliebrown let out a long and stinky fart that took up the scent of my perfume (Chanel N5 to be exact)  
We all left the house, and I made the biggest mistake of my life. I actually let Charliebrown drive us to the Marriott.  
In his beat up Honda mini van, I knew I had to talk to the PC and give them a little pep talk to make sure that they knew who their Alpha was (of course me.)  
"OK you guys. You know of course we will be starting a new school tomorrow, and that means new guys. We need to make sure our guys are HART, and"  
Charliebrown interrupted, "Don't ya think it's a little to early to start thinking about boys and BOYFRIENDS? No boyfriend until you are a senior in high school pumpkin."  
"But Dad I have like had a boyfriend before and mom and I had the talk so watevs."  
I began to realize that Talica was texting Davlyn something, and of course I knew that i would be getting this text too because of the new app i installed in the PC's iPhones, that lets me see everything they text and hear all phone calls. They are all to dumb to know :).  
TalBabe: Omg, Massiebella's Dad is such an LBR. Massiebella is totally losing her alpha stat.  
DavPickles:I know she is beginning to be such an LBR to just cause shes related to one.  
Seeing this, i was slightly hurt, but it reminded me i needed to show them who's boss.  



	3. 2 A NEW SCHOOL: PIGFARTS

2. A NEW SCHOOL: PIGFARTS

When the PC and I woke up the next morning, we all tried on at least a million different outfits for our first day of Pigfarts School of Magic and Wizardry. Obviously I wasn't nervous,as being an alpha and such, but Blaire was shivering at the sight of my beautiful confidence obviously nervous that she was so much different then everyone else. We rated our outfits:  
Massiebella: 9.9 for an eyelash fall.  
Davlyn: 6 for being fat.  
Jizzlen: 7 for being poor.  
Talicia: 8.7 for being beta.  
And Buhlaire: 4.7 for wearing keds and handmedowns.

We arrived at Pigfarts in disappointment-most of the boys were nerds with either glasses, lightening scars, or robes (WTF?). And most of the girls were as weird with either frizzy and brittle hair, glasses, or robes too.

"Umm ew. Is this a nightmare?" I said as grossed out as I could so the red-headed boy in a robe walking our way would get the message.

The red-headed boy didn't get the message, instead he approached us with his cape flowing behind him. Guh-ross. "Hullo there. You must be freshman here at Hogwa-I mean Pigfahts."

"Yes we are indeed" Said Davlyn mocking Redhead's english accent.

"Oh, well then maybe you'll need some help, you see here at Pigfahts we wear robes over our clothes, it's mandatory and I hate to see you all leave Pigfahts so soon as Dumblewhore is very very strict! By the way, my name is Rod Weazbie. I'm a freshmen here too, but I know much about it because I have 5 brothers who go here and 2 brothers who went here." Said Rod Weazbie. Wow he totally looks like Ron Weasley from that movie...Harry Potter.

"Wow...Um did I ask for whole life story? Sheesh. And If I'm ever caught in a stupid cape like that I'd sooner die." I was very impressed at how long this kid could go without breathing. And then a short frumpy frizzy-haired girl came out of an orange confronted the blond evil-looking boy and his two minions who stood next to another locker, possibly Blondy's minions doing. Blondy seemed fragile, but at the same time he looked so mean that he could say one word and you could burst into crying. Of course, I don't cry so maybe we could get along. This clique reminded me of the PC, Blondy was the alpha and his two betas did whatever they were told at the snap of his fingers.

Immediately, it was the first sign of true love. We were exactly alike. Both alphas, hawt, have an ah-mazing body, and gorgeous. I knew we were a match made in heaven. I was ready to meet him.

Walking up to Mr. Perfect, I yelled at his to followers, "BEAT IT!"  
When it was just the PC, Mr. Perfect, and I, I finally had time to introduce myself.  
"Hi I'm Massiebella, this is Davlyn, Buh-laire, Jizzlen, and Talicia. We are new at this school. You are?"  
"I'm Edwardington. My two friends you scared off are Casper and Demmet. I think you are gonna really like this school it has so much to offer." He said this all with giving me a sly smile and a wink. A WINK!  
"Buh-laire, can you go get me a mocha latte at the cafe? Take the PC with you."  
"Ooo. Nice. Me likes how you play." Edwardington said when it was just us.

After that comment, that kinda scared me, he was instantly cuter. I wondered for a second if it was illegal to be this cute... well, even if it was, being the hawt daredevil that I am, I don't care much. I pondered my conversational options:  
A) "So what's up?" BORING! I want him to think I have an interesting life, which I do!  
B) "Are you gonna walk me to my first class, or what?" Hmmm... a bit too bossy, even for me.  
C) "Did you see American Idol last night?" Who still watches that show anyways?

"So.." Edwardington was watching me furiously. It looked like he was trying to contain a fart.

"Ehma-WHAT?" Walking past us was a pale girl resembling Laine Abelay, with colorful locks streaming down her face. "Ehma-NO WAY..."

"Bellamassie, It's...the...flourescence!" Edwardington said. Who was he talking to, anyways?

"EH-MA-GAWD. Lain?" Ugh just kill me now... I thought as Lain walked up to us with a zebra patterned cape and matching zebra backpack.

"Bellamassie? Wow you go here? Oh my god! We're gonna be BEST FRIENDS! We can, like, hang out every single-" Laine kept blabbing. I just stood there in shock.

Finally, I shook myself back to life and was ready to say this to LAIME:  
"Laine, are you a diamond?"

"No-but if you wa-"

"Then why do you think you're my best friend?" Laime's face fell. Ugh gawd, this thing is totally pop-blocking me, I mean I can't just let people think Goofy was in the PC! With that Laine walked away baffled and I unhooked my Goofy keychain from my tote and flung the disgusting key chain at her.

As the rest of the PC walked back up the stairs with lattes in their hands, The bell rang and I turned to face Edwardington. "Come on, Massiebella. We have to go to the auditorium to get our houses chosen by the sorting hat." he said in a cold stern voice. I reached to grab his hand. It was extremely cold! Immediately, he flung my hand away and put his pale hands into his pockets.

"Your hands. Are so... cold!" I could tell that I had just made a big fool out of myself by the look on the PC's face. Edwardington fled away into the big red doors of the auditorium. All the girls stared at me like I had been stuttering, maybe I was, but I just couldn't place it. Something about Edwardington was off and I, I was going to find out.  
I added a third step in my 'To Do List' in my customized notepad with pictures of my parrot Green in the background of each page and signed it:

1. Lock cabinets and fridge so Davlyn doesn't have access.  
2. Decorate new locker with pictures of me.  
3. Find out if Edwardington is a vampire.

XOXO, You know you love me.  
-Faucet Girl ;)

"Girls, the song is 'When I Grow Up' by the Pussycat Dolls. Davlyn try and keep up. Talicia; don't get ahead of me. Jizzlen, bring some hip into it. Buh-laire, do you even know that song?"

"...No" Blaire frowned.

"Ok, Buhlaire will walk two steps behind us to the beat of "Twinkle Star". Ah-five, six, ah-five six sevuhn eight!" and then we were walking in full hip-swaying motion towards our new auditorium to the beat of When I Grow Up. And twinkle star.


	4. 3 THE SEXY SORTING HAT

4. THE SEXY SORTING HAT

In the auditorium, we got to sit any where we wanted, but the guys and girls were seperated, which made no sense at all. The headmaster of this school isn't that smart. We were told of the different houses and the meanings of the dumb houses I could care less about, because I knew that they would make a house just for the PC.

"Gryfindor declares the bravery you have in life and what you will one day show in a situation. A person in Ravenclaw is wise and smart. Slytherin makes you a go getter, and proves you do whatever it takes to get what you want. A trait of a member from Hufflepuff is they are patient and loyal friends." said the LBR looking teacher wearing styles that were so 10 years ago, "the hat called the sorting hat will determine which house you belong in by reading your deepest and inner most thoughts. It will know your life story, and in 2 seconds it will judge you."

She pulled out what looked to be a garbage bag, but it was really the sorting hat. I can't believe that I am actually going to have to wear that. It would make my status from alpha to LBR.

The first kid that went was a kid named Harry Potter. Apparently, he was like famous or something so everyone was like WOW when he put on the hat.

"So you are the kid that lived. Potter. GRYFINDOR!" said the ahnonying sorting hat.

"Bravery I like that." said the weird looking Potter kid wearing a robe.

The next person to wear the sorting hat was like a Laine Abley twin with curly puffy hair. LBR stat now.

"Hermonie. A Muggle. Wise, yet brave. Hard choice. Decisions, decisons, decisons. GRYFINDOR!"

What da hell is a Muggle? I think I saw that girl earlier on today. No one else but Jizzlen, Davlyn, Buhlaire, Talicia, and of course ME!

And then the old lady apparently named Dumblewhore said the name of my future boyfriend, Edwardington. Edwardington ran up to the stool and put the hat on his head.

"Hmm... maybe a Hufflepuff kid...wait, no...RAVENCLAW!"

Edwardington grinned as he walked off stage to sit with the rest of the Ravenclaws.

"Lain Abelay" Dumblewhore announced.

Lain skipped like a happy elf from a cartoon and stuffed the hat over her big hair and sat on the wobbly stool.

"Ohh so Ravenclaw is what you want, well with a personality like this you'd be silly to pass up being in Hufflepuff.. HUFFLEPUFF!" the hat yelled.

"Massiebella Swack"

It was finally MY turn. Time to show this 'Sorting Hat' how much I belonged in Ravenclaw with Edwardington. I sat on the stool and lightly put on the floppy wizard hat so I wouldn't mess up my bee-you-tee-fuhl hair. And then I had a thought... what if I wasn't chosen for any house? But before I could think of how much money I would sue this stupid raggedy hat for public humiliation it spoke.

"SLYTHERIN!"

WHAT? THIS CANAWT BE HAPPENING! I rushed off stage in a fit of frustration after violently throwing the hat onto the stupid stool. I could already see my skin turning bright green. I needed to breath, now, before I turned into the Hulk.

"Rod Weazbie" was the next up.

"Hmm... Definitely Gryfindor!" The drowned on and on with it's ah-noying voice as tons of first years got their houses.

"Jizzlen Kregony!"

One of my favorite slaves.

"Wow I'd be stupid not to put you in- RAVENCLAW!"

Obviously, she had a look of sadness on her face for she was hoping for Slytherin. This is NAWT FAIR.

"Talicia Drivera"

"No doubt with this one. SLYTHERIN!"

At least I had Talicia. But I still yearned for my PC to be a whole.

"Davlyn Merill"

"So.. you want to be in Slytherin? Slytherin it is!"

"Blaire Tygers"

Buhlaire looked nervous.

"Woah there, if your going to throw up, please take me off!...lets see...this is difficult..HUFFLEPUFF!"

Blaire grinned stupidly like she won one of her lame-o talent shows back in Dorklando.

"Harumph!"

"Dude did you just say 'Harumph'?" Edwardington was watching me fiercly. I froze.

Has he been watching me this whole time?

Can he read my mind?

Is he a vampire?

This were only few of the questions I was longing to ask him.

Then Dumblewhore said some cheesy line about having fun and we were dismissed to go to our rooms.

I waited...

He waited...

I HAD to say SOMETHING, he'd been looking for too long

"You can look but you cannawt touch!"

Yes, It was random but it was the first thing that came into mind! And Massiebella always says what she WANTS to!

He just stood there in shock. And then a smile spread across his face.

"Ya can't touch this! Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh, ya can't touch this!"

He continued to sing MC hammer's hit until he forgot the words and turned pale. How pale? I wasn't sure. All I knew was this had to end right now.

"Umm..awk, dude."

And then I turned like a diva pop star that I am and headed straight for my girls.

*~`#%

"AAAHH!"

*~`#%

A scream rang out.

Someone pulled the fire alarm.

But where was the fire?

There was none…

I froze. The sorting hat was… EW!

Ehmagawd! There he was scarfing down what was left of Duh-livia Seacrest's bob like it was a hambur-WAIT WHAT? Small mouse-like features, a bob, and a tiny dancer's frame? Yup, this was definitely Olivia Ryan Seacrest.. She goes here. Ew.

"AAAHHHHH! Get it off!" Duh-livia was crying as Dumblewhore tried to peel the Sorting Hat off of her face.

I was starting to like this Sorting Hat…

It was, how shall I say? Evil…

But sexy.

Just.

Like.

Me.

* * *

PS J'Adore reading:

It's coming. :)

Wait for it... heehee!


	5. 4 GUHLEE CUHLUB

5. GUH-LEE CUH-LUB

Walking down the hallway, I saw the most horrific thing known to man kind.

The Glee Club.

The LBRs singing randomly in the hall way, tried to make me sign up for their stupid club, and I right as always showed them who's boss by splashing the magical blue slushy that poofed from the magical farting pigs that fly around here. The worst part is, I found out that Edwardington was the leader of this club, and now I would need to get vocal lessons to make sure that my ah-mazing voice is truly the best out of those LBRs to impress Edwardington. And I'd obviously have to get in to be able to show them. And him. I peeked inside without the PC noticing and there was Olivia and some kid making out. Oh Gawd.

"Get a room." I projected. The boy turned around. He had a name tag on that said 'Jacob VeryDarkBlueButNotBlack'. He was kinda hawt.

"Get a life!" He said. Hmm, suddenly he wasn't so hot anymore. Suddenly he was on my hit-list along with Barney and the Sand-Man.

It is so hard to be me. I'm so perfect. I'm the best. I'm amazing.

"What?" Buh-laire the LBR said.

"I didn't say anything you low life loser."

"UMmmm you like sooo did I heard it loud and clear."

What? I so did not. I'm always right.

"Ummmm no your not Massiebella."

"BUHLAIRE SHUT UP SHES NOT SAYING ANYTHING YOU RETARD!" screamed Davlyn.

Buh-laire is sooooo out of my clique.

"Whaatt?" Buh-laire ran off crying.

"Ugh, I'll get her…" Jizzlyn offered.

"No. She'll walk home." I said with authority, "That way she'll see how pathetic she is without me. I mean, us."

Once safely at "home" with the PC except Buh-laire I declared the State of Union aloud as I typed it. The truth was this school was a little more then I could handle. Not once did a person jealously glare at my outfit. In fact, I was starting to think that in order to fit in I'd have to get down and dirty. This meant breaking one of my top rules: Fashion.

"State… of the… yoon…yoonyahn? Jizz, how do you spell-"

But before I could ask she began, "U-N-I-O-N. At your service your humble majesty! And might I say what a beautiful-"

"Don't say it Jizz! I know I'm hawt!" I smirked at her. I was good at that. It ran in the family. Well, my mom's side at least. Did I mention I am good at it?

Anyways…

"Union. In: robes." With each letter I pounded my finger on the keys, frustrated that it had come to this. If that's not enough for you want to know what else is in?

"Glee Club"

By then Talicia couldn't take it anymore.

"Massiebella, don't you think this is going too far! I mean, glee club is for LBRs! Even if your vampire boyfriend is the leader of it!" Talicia bolted up off of the pink armchair, her boobs resisting. Ahh yes, the wonders of gravity and it's hatred towards big boobed people. They definitely deserved it. By the way, this has nothing to do with my bra size being the equivalent to a ten year old anorexic.

"SUHH-LIPPIIIING!" Davlyn burped. It smelled like airplane food.

I just smirked (did I mention that I'm good at that?) and softly and irresistibly said in my best Yoda impression,

"See why I'm doing this soon, you will"

Which translates to:

"You'll see why I'm doing this soon."

And that was right when Buh-laire slumped through the door red faced and sweaty.

Ew.

"I heard that!" She said.

She must have become demented like her old rhinestone-loving sugar eating friends back in Dorklando.

She sighed, "They aren't demented!"

"Um, Buh-laire? I'm starting to think YOU ARE!" Davlyn yelled speed-walking and stopping only 3 inches away from her face.

It had to stop now, "SILENCE! Buh-laire are you a mind reader?"

"I really think I might be-"

"Because if you are I need you to read my mind right…" I thought of something to think of, "Now!"

Talicia got a boob job, Davlyn is soo fat and guh-ross, and Buh-laire is my slave.

A gasp filled the silence.

"What? Talicia got a boob job? Davlyn is nawt fat! And me, I know I'm your slave! Wow Jizzlyn, can you believe this?"

"IT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO READ ANOTHER HUMAN BEING'S THOUGHTS! IMPOSSIBLE! INCONCEIVABLE! IMPOSSIBLE!" It was Jizzlyn and she was curled up in a ball rocking back and forth like a lunatic.

"EHMAGAWD! OPPOSITE OF TRUE, BUH-LAIRE! I'M SO SUEING YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU OWN: NOT MUCH!" Talicia's voice rang out in what was desperation at the now frantic Buhlaire.

"FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!" Davlyn burped.

I smirked. She deserved this. How dare she read my mind? Did I ever mention to you how great a smirker I am? Heh, well it does run in the family.

"Buhlaire your as out as the boyfast! Which is toe-dally OUT!" Talicia had read my mind. Well not literally like Buhlaire had. Heehee, I'm so clever.

"Let's all calm down and, since this is a democracy (IT'S SO NAWT, I AM THE LEADER!) we will vote on the matter. My vote counts as 2." I started the endeavor of getting LBR-EW -Buhlaire out of the PC while still gaining my respect from my minions.

"All in favor of Buhlaire detaching from the PC say 'Massiebella'."

"You are supposed to say 'I'" Jizzlyn said.

"What, you want out, too?" Jizzlyn cowered back into her ball and said 'Massiebella', "Hmpf, thought so. Massiebella."

So far 3 votes out of 5.

"Massiebella!" Talicia enunciated.

"MAASSIIIIEBELLAAA!" Davlyn burp-voted.

"All in favor of Buhlaire staying in say 'I'm a loser'"

"I'm a loser!" Buhlaire exclaimed.

"Oh no!" I was mocking sympathy, "It seems as though we all want the same thing, and yes, we already knew you are a loser. Get out now." I said the last sentence with fake niceness and smirked so she would know it wasn't real.

"GO NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE!" Talicia boomed.

And she did.

* * *

**Okay people if u r reading this PLEASE reviewwww!**


	6. Note From the Author: Dear GLU! Or boy

**Dear Really Cool Person reading this,**

**It would be really awesome if you could review my story! So if you have read any of the chapters or if you are just really awesome, REVIEW! It seriously would HELP to know that I'm writing for people :) OH aaaand I LOVE advice and will almost ALWAYS use your fabulous ideas if you would like!**

P.S. Credit for **J'Adore to read** for the idea of including the couple of Olivia Ryan and Jacob Black (AKA Duh-livia Ryan Seacrest and Jacob VeryBlueButNotBlack)

_And read her story: PC Meets Hogwarts_

I promise you'll love it!

THANKS FOR REVIEWING!


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